I can strongly remember when I was a child watching TV and the commercials would come on. Somewhere around the second commercial I would think, "Wait. What show am I watching?" For the life of me I wouldn't remember.
At times my life has felt that way. Chugging along, tasking, checking boxes, doing the dailies. Then thinking, "Wait! What am I doing? What's the point of all of this?"
Waking up for me is getting really clear on what my purpose is in this life. Not my generic, I'm a human being on this planet purpose. What is the specific purpose for Theresa Kim, one individual out of billions of individuals, each with their specific purpose in this life? What am I here for?
Once that purpose (actually purposes) got crystal clear for me, a waterfall of potential came rushing down. I can do this! I can do this! Or this! All aligned with my purpose. All having the effect of cold, invigorating waterfall water waking me up.
I don't think wide awake is the easy way to live. Easy is autopilot. Sleepwalking through life. Going through life tv coma style. Waking up means realizing that you those potentials may be huger than you were ready for. Waking up means being brave. Brave is not always easy.
Here's the thing. At the end of the day, at the end of all of my days, I will lay my head down knowing that I really tried. I really tried to accomplish what I was meant to accomplish. In the trying, I am finding so much joy, energy, fear, hope, peace. Totally alive. Fully awake.